A woman gets in her car to drive.

How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

Hey i just met you and this is crazy i suck at rhyming door knob

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

A Horse walks into a Bar The Bartender runs for his life as he is tripping on acid and believes the horse is a sheep. He doesn't like sheep.

Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

Jack and Jill climbed up the hill .... and fetched a pail of water.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

Why was the man so unhappy. he died

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

That's Racist

I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

A disabled man runs into a bar. He notices he's not disabled and realizes his mother lied to him his whole life.

Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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