Hey, we're both lawyers.

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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Does this napkin chloroform?

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Once upon a time, a princess was hungry. and there was a frog wearing a tux for some reason.so the princess ate him. THE END.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

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Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

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me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

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do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

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jack shine has boobs

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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Looking for a job in this economy is like trying to find employment during an extreme economic downturn.

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World peace

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You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

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Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

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American Idol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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