a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? the cop

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Whats helped us not be mad at Osama Binladen. His death.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

Dad they tell me I am homosexual at school, what does it mean? Ask your boyfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

thumb_up thumb_down +53

A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

How do black people gain access to houses? Through the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Women

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops