Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

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Why did the fat black guy fail his eye exam? He's blind.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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Im getting sick of holocaust jokes cant you Nazi Annefrankly they are dumb

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the light was green

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

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A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

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What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

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Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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