A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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Two Jews walk in a bar...

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whats worse then being lit on fire? dont worry about that right now your ass is on fire!

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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There's two bears in a bathtub, One looks at the other and says "hey can you pass the soap?" the other bear says "what do i look like a light bulb?"

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Chris Hanson with To Catch A Predator.

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A Pole walks into a Pole. They chatted for a while, talking about the good old times they had had together in Poland. They soon finished their conversations, and went seperate ways.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Why did the baby die? It got shot.

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Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

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On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Yes. A: Thanks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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