Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

Roses are red, bikers are blur.....I love you ( drunk texting )

where did sally go after the bombing? everywhere.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

Why couldn't Jenny speak right? Cause she had autism.

My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

Shit!

Vagina.

Your mom.

Q) Whats wet fishy and gets caught by fishermen? A) fish.

Obama: And then I said there would be a change. (hahahahahaha)

What's worse than having amnesia? I don't remember.

Whats worst then listening to you girl friends problems? Nothing.

A ship wrecks in the South Pacific ocean. Only one man survives. He swims to a semi-deserted island, and is later eaten by the cannibal inhabitants

-What did the duck say to Federico Costa nearby the phonebox in a rainy day? -Quack

So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

Why did the chicken cross the road? 4

Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Cut the shit, I'm being chased by a tiger!

Knock knock Who's there Interrupting camel (Interrupt with nothing) Camels can't talk.

how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood three wood

Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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