- Anti Joke

Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

Q: Why did the Unicorn cross the road? A: It didn't Unicorns are fictional creatures.

Why did the girl gO shopping?! Because she got paid and wanted to blow(;

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

What did the dog say to the cat? I don't know actually

What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

Roses are red Violets are blue i cant ryme or spell.

What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

Rachel not blowing Robert.

What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

What's better than four dead babies in one trashcan? Nothing. Those babies could have grown up to be new heads of state or even the doctor who discovers the cure for cancer.

Your Mother

I am nobody Nobody is perfect Therefore, I am perfect

Once there was a rich man who lived in a castle on a hill. One fine morning who awoke and decided to go downstairs to make a cup of tea. As he switched on the kettle, he realised he had no tea bags, and so, went to the local shops to buy some – but when he arrived back, his magnificent castle had been burnt down to the ground. The man, obviously shocked, looked around in hope for some evidence as to who would commit this awful crime, but he saw nothing, apart from a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance and they give him a mansion. One morning in the man’s fine mansion, he decided he wanted a nice cup of tea, so went downstairs, discovered he had no teabags, went to the shop to purchase some and came back to find his mansion was no more than a pile of ash. Once again he looked around and saw nothing other than a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance for a second time and they give him a normal house. One morning in the man’s normal house, he feels the need for a cup of tea. But has no teabags, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to find his normal house has burnt down. In the distance a little green man is running away. Insurance give the man a small cottage. And one morning in this small cottage, the man goes downstairs to make a cup of tea, but once again he has no teabags. Off to the shops he went to buy some but discovered, as he approached his cottage on the way home, that it had been burnt down. He looked around to see the now familiar sight of a little green man running off into the distance. Insurance give him a caravan. One morning in the caravan, the man discovers, while attempting to make a cup of tea, that he has no teabags. So, naively, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to his caravan to find it burnt down. He looked up and saw a little green man running off into the distance. The now annoyed insurance company give the man a tent. One sunny morning in the man’s tent - he feels the need for tea, but has no teabags; he goes to the shop to buy some and arrives back at his tent to find a little green man holding a can of gasoline and some matches. The man asks: “are you the one who has been burning down all my houses?” And the little green man replies: “No.”

Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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