how do you get out of a room with no windows or doors? you don't.

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Sarah Palin

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What's yellow and lays in a tree? Tweety the Whore

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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Knock Knock. Whose there? ..............

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Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

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What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

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Q:Why did suzie fall off the swing A:She had no arms

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How many dead babies can you fit in a mini? It is variable according to the size of each baby.

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A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

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What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One splatters and makes a big red mark on the ground when dropped from a building. The other is a fruit.

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A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

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A man finds a mysterious lamp on the side of the road. He picks it up, rubs it, and sells the lamp at a pawn shop for $10,000. The man paid off his credit card debt and was happy that he did not have to file for bankruptcy.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Women's rights

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how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

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your mum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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