Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He got hurt.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I slipped you some roofies You'll be out in a few

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you know what they say about men with big feet... damn you got some big feet.

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Wanna hear a great joke? (any answer) Your dad's choice of condom.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

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yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

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A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

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Yo momma's so fat, she had a heart attack and is currently hospitalized.

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A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse then replied, "Well my wife is dying of cancer, my mother is a drug addict, and my two kids are in the hospital for 3rd degree burns."

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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What do you call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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Are you Drew?

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Once upon a time, a boy sat on a hedgehog. He abruptly stood up, as the spikes had caused him a certain amount of discomfort.

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A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. They proceed to have an in-depth conversation about interfaith dialogue and no one questions the imam orders of non-alcoholic beverages.

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Why id the Jew keep putting his name at the end of anti jokes? He was an attention seeking big nosed virgin kunt

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A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

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What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

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How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

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every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

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What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

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What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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