Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

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What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

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whats long and green? weed

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvatore Dali mistook them for clocks.

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The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

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What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

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What happens when a jewish man, black man, asian and an amish man get on the same plane heading to Chicago? The reach their destinations safely and go their separate ways.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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Think of a fruit that isn't an orange ... You're thought of a pear, didn't you?

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

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What did the Lightning Bolt say to the Thunder Cloud? WATTSup?

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what do you call a black man on a bike? a black man on a bike.

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Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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Why don't men have menstruation? -Because it sucks

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The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops