How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

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What is black, often hung by a rope on a tree, and something white people like to play with? A tire swing.

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to end the lives of two male individuals and paralyze the the third male individual from the hip down.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

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What did walt disney say to the Jew? Nothing. Walt Disney didn't know the man was Jewish and didn't have time to make himself acquainted with the fellow.

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How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

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A man walks into a bar, and he says, "ow,".

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

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one day 2 strawberrys walked to the ice cream store and ordered a small cup of banana ice cream they were realley happy they were later taken in and tortured and raped

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Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

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If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

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"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

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Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

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Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

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Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

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Do you want to hear a joke? No. Women's- oh, okay.

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What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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