What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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Why did the Kek Kick Ben? Cause Ben kicked Kek's Kik. KEKEKEK

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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Test

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What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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hey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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