What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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Penis.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

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Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

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Paige

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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