How do you stop a bus? Press the brakes

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What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get off the roof.

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

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Whats worse than an oompa loompa a black midget

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im black

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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TIMMAH!

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What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

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knock knock who's there? It's Jim we haven't seen each other since college Why hello there come on in

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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a jewish man walks down the street a hispanic man walks down the street a black man walks down the street an irish man walks down the street and into a pub

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your landlord. Get the hell out.

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? Yo bike!

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns. He won.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

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Wow, so today is 9/11? Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops