Why did the cow jump over the moon ? This is a highly unlikely situation , therefore the cow did not leave its humble pasture , let alone talk english while in the midst of jumping over a planet wich takes days to fly over .

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Muffins can't speak therefor it said nothing.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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A man walks into a bar and the barenter says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "I'll take a Bud Light."

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Why did the pirate say to the donkey? Rrrrrrrrrrr you a donkey?

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What did the hobo say while giving birth? bob come over here and hold my third leg for me??

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? My wife didn't cheat on me in a pile of dead babies.

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What did he African say when he had diarrhea? Shit

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

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A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

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Q: What is a man? A: A miserable little pile of secrets.

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How old are you? 20

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

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How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas. A key chain.

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Why was the little boy screaming? He was going down a steep drop on a roller coaster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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