What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

Your mama's so fat.

Im thinking of a very long word..... L O N G

Why does life suck? Because it does

Why did the little boy fall of his swing? Some one killed him.

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to end the lives of two male individuals and paralyze the the third male individual from the hip down.

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. This task does not require over 1 person to complete.

Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock The person you are seeking is deaf and cannot hear the sound that is made when your knuckles come in contact with the door. Try calling next time..........

I saw a poor man named rich

What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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