What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

your mammas so poor she is probably going die in a few days of starvation

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the black person cross the road? Because the street light turned green

thumb_up thumb_down -20

i dont like attention whores lol

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock Knock Who's there? Well why don't you open the door and find out!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Dyslexic devil worshippers sell their souls to Santa

thumb_up thumb_down -22

so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's Tammie short for? Diabetes claimed both her legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many beavers can you fit in one paddling pool? None; it's probably very dangerous trying

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many dead babies can you fit in a sink? I don't know i forgot to turn the garbage disposal off

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Tell me a joke Tell me a joke! TELL ME A JOKE!!! ...Womens Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between an orange and a dead baby? One is a popular citrus fruit commonly grown in Florida, and the other is a horrible tragedy, possibly caused by miscarriage or a serial killer, who was hopefully immediately jailed for his actions.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did the plane crash the pilot was Suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the blind lady say to her cat? Nothing she doesn't have a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was the boy stuck? He's under a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

there is a woman named shannen. she is happily married and has children.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q. How many jews can you fit in a car? A. depending on the car size and make, oh and the size of the ash tray is also important

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops