Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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What is a wok? A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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Why did the Koala Fall out of the tree, It was Dead

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Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

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Yo mama is so fat!

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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