What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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A man walks into a pole.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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A woman's opinion

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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It’s dead.

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What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

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Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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If file gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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