How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

There once was a man from nantucket. But he moved to California after he won the State lottery.

A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

A man walks into a bar Then another man shoots him in the head because he has anger issues.

Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

Why was a group of children being driven away by a black man? Michael was the students bus driver, he was taking them to the zoo.

How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

what do jews like the most? money, because they're all greedy fat nosed cunts

Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

Why is the little boy so smart? He tries in school and hes asian

how many jews can you fit in a volkenswagen? 2 jews in the front 2 jews in the back 15 jews in the ashtray

Roses are red, But ravens are black, please go to China, and never come back!

Directions- I would be lost without you. Thank you for always being there for me.

What did the black man say when he ate a Hershey bar? Delicious

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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