Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and oranges? With one,you can make a delicous smoothie, but the other is just a pile of citrus fruits.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How can you tell that your friend just had sex with a blonde? The girl he just had sex with has blonde hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road... He wanted to get away from all those jerks who kept asking him why he made the decisions that he did. he later committed suicide...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +7

squirrels playing in the street=dez bryant playing tennis

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I walked into my maths lesson and my teacher told me to point out the uncommon variable. ..So i pointed at the ginger black man in the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the most racist thing ever... Manhattan

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't the poor man buy a candy bar? He wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock, Knock Who's there? No one OK???? BYE, BYE U still there? Yeah Umm . . . ?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red violets are blue im in class

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

thumb_up thumb_down +5

President Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops