One time I masturbated by myself

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Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

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Q. What does a blonde and beer bottles have in common? A. Nothing. Blonde is a hair color and beer bottles are inanimate objects used to contain various brands of beer.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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What did the man say to the drug dealer? I'd like some drugs

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What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the mac and cheese before it was cool.

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obama leadership

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Did you hear about the dyslexic eye chart maker? His disability caused to him to have a difficult time at work and his production suffered because of this.

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What do you call Americas first black president? A change.

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rosses are red voilets are pinkey your mams pussy is really stinky

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocost

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

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A man had a blue hat, a yellow hat and a red hat. This man has three hats.

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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Why did the Asian woman drive 20mph on the highway? There was a deadly car accident with many fatalities.

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why was the blind man walking in circles? i dont know ask him yourself.

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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Roses are orange Violets are grey I love penguins Damn Jews

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Why did the woman start crying? She didn't have woman's rights... That's right, get back in the kitchen

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Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding A Duck in your apple! What is worse than finding a duck in your apple? Finding a racist in your apple! Whats worse than finding a racist in your apple? DEATH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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