Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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If Jimmy has 50 pieces of candy and eats 40 of them, what does he have now? Jimmy has diabetes.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jelly ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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What do you call a really old Cowboy? A senior citizen with a brain tumor.

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69

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Q: What do you call a Deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q; What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no ideer.

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Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

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Looking for propane accessories? Well look no more!

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Moral below, I understand you are one of us, but you are not supposed to act when I, your leader is spreading the message, if you want to risk harming the fundation behind your status as a shadow and its benefits, I suggest you cease signing your comments with moral. Moral the friendly neighbourhood r*pist: "Ruining the fundation behind the life of your choosing, will always end up ruining your chance to live and act freely, if you are a true shadow, then you will follow and obey"

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Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

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Whats so funny? Josh nash's face

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Q: What did the blonde woman say? A: My hair is blonde

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A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He cracked his skull and died in the hospital shorty afterward.

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When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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Ya know what's sad? You can only submit one dislike on this website.

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What's worse than eating cows. Death

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So a man enters a local paper's pun contest. He enters ten puns in hopes that one of them would win. But unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

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Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

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A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

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if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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