Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

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Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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Roses are red Cranberries are tart It sure stinks when you fart

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Tic tac toe. You were adopted.

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Why was the girl blind, and deaf? it was hellen keller

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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whats hard, its not what you think a penis

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

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What did one child say to the other child? We both are kids.

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What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

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Mmmmmmmmbutch

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There is no joke here, stop reading.

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Why can't you tell Knock-Knock jokes in a Japanese farmhouse? Because your fist will go through the rice paper.

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird

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How did the girl die? 25.

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Have you heard about the Polish hockey team? They're not very good, but what they lack in skills they make up for in enthusiasm and good team spirit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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