why harry potter, if he was a wizard?

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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whats worse than school...wait a minute?

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what is worse than finding a dead worm in an apple? Obama being elected a second time

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What did the homeless man give his friends for Christmas? More AIDS.

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A: What time is it? B: Half past six.

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What do you do with a pickle jar full of semen? Use it for gel, because it took so long to collect it all, and you're frugal person who believes in recycling.

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What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

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Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

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Why was the black boy late for school? He missed the bus

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? "Where's my keys?!"

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What did Sally get for Christmas? AIDS

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What did the pc say to the Mac? You suck

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Women's rights

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How do you make a blonde stupid as hell. Give birth to it

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a hemophiliac? A bleeding ass!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, due to the lack of details, there could be many reasons, such as the possibility that there was a cornfield on the other side, he got scared by a loud noise behind him and ran across the street, or just plain old curiosity, but whatever it may be, right now, we do not know the cause.

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Why does jim never go to McDonalds? his wife got shot there.

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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Why did the black man cross the road? He had a job interview precisely 10 minutes after this event occurred.

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How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

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what did the short man say to the shoe? i sincerely hope that someone wouldn't try to carry a conversation with an inannnimate object, or else he is socially disturbed

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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