- Anti Joke

Why could the woman not play the game monopoly? Because she did not own the game monopoly

School

How do you wake up lady gaga? Shoot her in the head repeatedly

What do you call someone who kills black people? A hero.

A man ordered tomato and basil, but received tomato with a man. the man's name is Basil!

Obama

Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is your mom

What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

FUCK YOU NEVEN

Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

Knock knock. Is someone there?

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

TEAM Together Everyone Argues More

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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