Two elephants are walking down the street. They have already killed 12 people including 11 children and their foster parent.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

This is an anti joke. Please make it the bestest and most well likeded one on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your Momma is so old, she started exercising more and eating healthier to increase the chance of her living long enough to enjoy your own children's lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

say yes will u remember me in a year?yes will u remember me in a month? yes will u remember me in a week?yes will u remember me in a minute?yes will u remember me in a second?yes knock knock whos there u said u will remember me u dick

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, and the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Pamela Anderson cross the road? To meet me.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is a Wesley a black man ? He licks tuna

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A black man, a white man, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The bartender kicks them out because he doesn't have time for another crappy joke; as the bar is very crowded that night.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water jack collapsed because of serious drug abuse and stress jill followed after not being able to handle the tragedy of her brothers death this wouldn't have happened if they got into my van when i asked them too.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what happened to Timmy when he fell off his bike? CANCER.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Jane get pregnant Because she bought a man's semen and put it in her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Did you hear about the guy who got all of his left side cut off?! He died of blood loss and permanent damage to his vital organs.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did Spiderman do when he saw a crime taking place? He stopped it

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house KNOCK KNOCK who's there? da chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -31

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman crashed onto a desert island... The Englishman swiftly used his satellite phone to broadcast their location and they were taken home to their worried families.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

ORGANISM. Yeah, I thought it said "orgasm" too.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks into a bar, and spends all his money because he is an alchoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's worse than accidentally biting your tongue? Hitler accidentally biting your tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Justin Bieber is having sex with a girl. He then awakes from this horrible nightmare.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the man say when he lost his keys? "Where's my keys?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops