Police Report: A 100 year old man was beaten to death on his centennial birthday. Sources claim to say he was "getting his birthday punches"

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Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Minecraft.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

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Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

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How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

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How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

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So the docter saw the girl had a "M" on her chest during surgery. He asked her if he had a boyfreind from Michigan. She said "no, but i have a girlfreind from winsconsin, why do u ask?"rf

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Q:How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She didn't, she sought help and was able to live a very happy life with a beautiful family in a nice suburb outside of Cincinnati.

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You have such a big heart (Girlfriend) The doctor's think dangerously so (Guy)

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? Freak

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

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What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? A pilot.

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A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

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Why did the man go bald? He had cancer

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neil patrick harris

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Teacher: What's 2x2 John? John: (ignores teacher) Teacher: John! John: huh? Teacher: go on John: uh? 24?

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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what do mexicans like most. icecubes

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u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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