What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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69

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How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

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Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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knock knock Who's there? ... Hello?

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Women Driving.

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what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

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What happened to the man who worshiped Satan when he died? He died.

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Wade

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I used to make jokes about taking arrows to the knee then i beat the game

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Police Report: A 100 year old man was beaten to death on his centennial birthday. Sources claim to say he was "getting his birthday punches"

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

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good one jess !!

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A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

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A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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