My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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What did Hellen Keller call her dog? Kamikaze-go, because he was an Akita from Japan and that was his name.

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What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

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What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

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knock knock whos there !!!!!.....WE.....ARE.......SPARTANSSSS.....!!!!!!

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Men's Sports

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What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

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What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

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President Donald Trump

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What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

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Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

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What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

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Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

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A man violently raped a small child. Unfortunately the child had aids and gave them to the man.

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Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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What do you call a group of black people? A group, you racist.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

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What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

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Why are Asians so good at mathematics? Practice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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