- Anti Joke

how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

why did the chicken cross the road? the holocaust

Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Sally with prosthetic arms.

Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go NSYNC and disappear cause NSYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

wood cant chuck wood

A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

i drive all the time its no big deal open the door and get behind the wheel

What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? bullshit!!

What is black and white and red all over? Yemen's national flag.

Roses are Red Violets are dog I'm Senile Flower tastes like frog.

What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a superhero and the other is just a normal person.

What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

crap!!

just sit down and dont be a Jew

O.J. Simpson. What would you do in that situation?

Where did Susie go after the bombing? Everywhere

What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

Why wasn't the black guy allowed into the bar? Because the bar was closed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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