whats fluffy and pink? -pink fluff whats blue and fluffy? -pink fluff holding its breath.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

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What do you call a girl with no arms or legs on the beach? Sandy What do you call that girl tossed into the water? Sandy Duncan

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A horse dies and goes to heaven. He wonders why there aren't any atheists around.

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Pen15

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Why did the Dentist recommend Oral B? He had been paid by the company and thus legally bound to do so.

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what do you call a guy that has a mouth, but cannot speak? a poor freshman who has been commanded by a Senior not to speak.

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A black guy walks up to the cash register at a gas station with his hands in his pockets... He pulls out a 5 dollar bill and buys a pack of gum.

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Q: What did the dumb blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios? A: Look! Donut seeds!

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Why do black people have dark skin? Lack of melanin in their skin. You learn something new every day.

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What did the unicorn say when he was kicked out of the grocery store? Nothing, dodo birds dont exist

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What did one cancer patient say to the other? Nothing, both of them were dead.

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person 1:Dude, look at the news person 2:Yea man, its D ick Cheney person 1: what a d ick head

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What's the difference between slavery and the Holocaust? Slavery happened.

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Well you can't drive planes

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Why did Suzie fall off her swing? She was dead

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Yo momma is so fat that we are incredibly concerned for her health.

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why was the 40 year old still a virgin? it doesnt know either.

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What do you call someone who kills black people? A hero.

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Holocaust jokes are not funny. My Grandpa died in the Holocaust... He fell off of the guard tower.

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What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

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I like my women the way I like my coffee: Without a penis.

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Joanna walks up to a random house, knocks on the door,"Is this where the party's at?!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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