PISS OUT MY ASS!!!!!

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What's clear on the outside and grey on the inside? An elephant in a plastic bag.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Whats black and white, and red all over? A: Your grandma, naturally black haired, beaten to a pulp and left pale white with blood covering the majority of her body.

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Roses are red violets are blue come on love show me you boobs/by kw

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How do you get pikachu on a bus? Rape his wife and point a gun to his head and tell him that he'd better get on the damn bus before you shoot him. Btw sorry if I just double posted. I am on an iPad at school.

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A woman walks into a bar and hits it off beautifully with the young man sitting close to her. They exchange numbers, and even a small kiss before she departs. He follows her home and eats her.

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What does Harry Potter love? Magic

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why did the man start living on the street? he lost his job, his wife left him, and had his identity stolen.

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Conner Schmidt's fiance has the fattest ass in the world <3

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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What's worse than a snake in your boot. A boot in your snake.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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What's worse than tieing a baby to a moving fan? Stopping it with a shovel

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rebecca is a hard worker

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Why didn't Sally make it to school on time? She got savagely beaten and raped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I like to rape cats.

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What did the nerd say to the bully? Nothing. The bully killed him before he could say anything.

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What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

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im gonna sue mcdonalds i asked for a hamburger and it was a beef burger -_-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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