Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

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In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

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No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

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What do you call an Arab on a plane? A passenger, you racist!

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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Tic tac toe. You were adopted.

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Your time.

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Q: whats the fastest way to a woman's heart? A: A knife to the ribs...

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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ROSES ARE RED WATCHES ARE GOLD GET ON YOUR KNEES AND DO WHAT YOUR TOLD

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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