roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

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Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

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what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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What bad thing could happen if you gave a black man a gun? ....stop expecting some racist punchline!

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where do you find sunglasses at? the store

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Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

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A Irishman walks into a bar... he suffers severe head injuries.

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How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

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girls basketball

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What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

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one day i went to bed

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Why did Janie miss school today? Because she fell in a well.

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Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

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What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

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Homosexuals are gay.

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"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

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Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

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Why did the chicken die? He tried to cross a road by an alleyway, therefore getting hit by a double decker bus and the alleyway has nothing to do with it. Also, the chicken had one leg and was blind.

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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