Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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Why did the black man go to the gym? Because he was severely fat and would live a short life if he didn't lose weight.

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A cow says moo and explodes.

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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What's worse then finding a finger in your Chili? Getting Mollested by a Pterodactyl.

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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Q. What did tthe little kid say when the bully punched him? A. Ow.

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Whats white and sticky fluff

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hi

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream cone? Because he was hit by a truck.

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A man is on a date. His philandering causes a bitter divorce.

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How do you know this is an Antijoke? Its on anti-joke.com

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, it is a fairly common occurrence in Australia and normal process is carried out of evacuating the premises and calling animal control to deal with the situation.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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thermodynamics?

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Q:If an apple and an orange had a politicial debate, what would it concern? A:Nothing important.

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What kind of jokes to dairy farmers tell? Corny jokes.

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There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

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Graphed: hey kids it's time to grape ya in the mouth Girl: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Random guy who sponsors the comercial: why is she screaming isn't thus about our new grape drink? Grapist: well… yes but look at the wY she's dresses she totally wants it.

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roses are black violets are black im blind

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Hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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