A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

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A Squirrel gets ready for hybernation. 21 You Stupid

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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How do you get 1000 pokemon on to a bus? Pikachu!

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Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

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How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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A lion walks into a barber shop and asks for a haircut and the barber says no then the lion proceeds to kill everyone in the shop

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What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

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What did the one horse say to the other. Nothing because horses can't talk.

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Nicholas Salek did not write the message below. It was a joke one of his mates played!!

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shauns beautiful

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Why was the man thought to be peculiar? Because he had sex with a pistachio.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

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My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

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Your Moma so fat, she would roll down a hill.

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How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

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Guess what? Holocaust

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? One has a penis, and one has a vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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