Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Chickens like to wander around.

Knock knock (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) Fuck me, that's the most echo-y door I've ever knocked on.

Yo mamas so fat that she decided to get a gastric bypass to help lose the weight.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well, you shouldn't be. I came to inform you your entire family died in a car crash.

Q) Whats wet fishy and gets caught by fishermen? A) fish.

Why was the chicken sad because it lost it's family

--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

Knock, knock. *answers door*

SCUBA is spelt S C U B A

If Jimmy has 50 pieces of candy and eats 40 of them, what does he have now? Jimmy has diabetes.

Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

*you're

Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

why are black people so good at basketball? because they all can run jump steal and shoot

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

Why was the teenage girl crying? She wasn't, she was just experimenting with her emotions.

John is typing... *2 seconds later" John: Hi

Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

What's black, white, green, red, blue, orange, gray, purple, and yellow? My art project.

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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