What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

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Hi

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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why did the man die? because he died.

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Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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hi

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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