Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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why did the man die? because he died.

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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