what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened when Chuck Norris tried to divide by zero? He found that he was not very good at math, and moved on to another joke concerning himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the monKey fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the rabbi say to the priest? I respect your religion but have faith in judiasm.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats the best part about 23 year olds? Theres 20 of them

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What was jesus's first miracle? He made a blind man walk. And for the stupid people out there jesus's first supposed miracle was making a cripple Walk

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There was a cat, an astronaut and a nun. The cat was sleeping, the astronaut was floating, and the nun was praying. There was a singer, a dancer and an actor. The singer was singing, the dancer was dancing, and the actor was acting.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's the difference between a box of dead babies and a corvette? I don't have a corvette in my garage!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo momma's so fat, she slipped into a diabetic coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

larry clark i smoke pot and im gay its phillup

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened when the black guy looked up his family tree? He discovered long-forgotten relatives who had lived during difficult times for African-Americans in the United States and faced disenfranchisement, extrajudicial killings, and chattel slavery. His sense of racial consciousness and solidarity was thereby reinforced.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hey guya im a female stripper and if you want to have some fun call me 8633972535 thanks. -Tyler

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how did the monkey fall out of the tree he was stupid how did the monkey get a black eye he was hit by a bus how did the monkey end up in the sewer he got hit by another bus

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you kill an american? You shoot them

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops