Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

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A man comes to a fork in the road. He then looks around then proceeds to pick it up, puts it in his pocket, then continues walking down the road as if nothing had happened.

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Wanna know who doesnt no how to right a joke? Who ever wrote this...

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I hate all races.. Especially the 400 meter sprint

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"I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want to hear first?" The good news. "There is no bad news." Then what's the bad news? "There is no bad news.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Coming home and discovering that your wife has drowned your kids in the bathtub

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Why did the baby fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms.

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What do you call a white man flying a plane? A pilot. What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? Also a pilot.

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What do you call women playing the sport of lacrosse? I dont think it matters because Women's Lacrosse isn't a sport.

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Whats brown and smells like poo?? Poo

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What's purple and has four wheels? A frog, except for the purple and four wheels part.

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What did the pie say to the other pie? "I'm hungry" So he ate the other pie.

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't want to.

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Somewhere over the rainbow.... Is land.

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What do black people and apples have in common? They are both fruit... except for black people

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Sure, I like all kinds of Juice. -Apple Jews -Grape Jews -Orange Jews The list goes on,,,

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What's the difference between you and a cat? The cats mom isn't a whore.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Knock Knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who?

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What did the orange elephant with 6 legs say? Kill me.

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knock, knock who's there? I'm here to kill u! I'm here to kill u who? .......

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Four blondes are driving to Disney World. When they are in Florida, there is a sign that says "Disney left" Upset, they make a u-turn and go home.

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What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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