How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation. John was never the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

i like tits

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the terorist do when he went out side blew up

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the little girl crying? Her father has been abusing her and her mother for a year now.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the blonde become a cannibal? Because she got hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Racism is like black people... It should not exists...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Chuck Norris doesn't shave.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An Irish man walks out of a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, and then come back halfway? A: He was racing his friend to the other side. He didn't realize his friend got hit by a truck until he looked back. He continually cried until finally he got it together and walked over to his dead friend. He wasn't paying attention though, and another truck hit him. The truck driver continued his road trip and bought KFC for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's big and fat? An obese man.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call an amazing person Good

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why shouldn't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops