What do you call one lawyer shot dead in the street? Ghandi.

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

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Why the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

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Q: Why was 2 afraid of 3? A: Cause 3 4 5!

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What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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Q) Whats wet fishy and gets caught by fishermen? A) fish.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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Why did the teenager cross the road? To get an abortion.

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what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

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who do hannah morgan and bonnie do in their free time? ANTI JOKEZ

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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Come In!

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Lebron James in the 4th quarter.

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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Knock Knock Who's there? I bought a Jeep

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Q: what do you call a muslim driving a plane? I don't know A: 9/11

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A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

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Q:Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree A: No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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