Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food before? No? Well neither have they.

Why did bobby fall of the swing? He had no arms -Knock knock -Who's there? -Bobby -But how? -I knocked with my diick -Oh

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

Person 1: What did the narwhal say to the other narwhal. Person 2: I don't know... What? Person 1: How am I supposed to know? Shortly after a serious argument breaks out.

Why did the man try to lick his elbow? Because he read a chain email saying no one could lick their elbow and he wanted to see if it was true. You will probably try to do it now too.

Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

Life is an elephant, get married.

A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Hello, I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I would like to talk to you about religion for a few minutes. B: Thank you, but I'm not interested. A: OK, thank you for your time, sir. B: You're quite welcome. Good day. A: Have a nice afternoon. B: You too. Bye A: Ba-bye.

What happened to the little kid who went surfing? Answer: he gOt eaten by a shark

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

Why did the boy fall of his bike? His mother threw a fridge at him

Why did the chicken cross the road? For fitness! ...yeah... nobody laughed when Jonah Hill said it either... awkward

roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

what is cooler than writing an anti joke? killing eveybody who thinks the " my garden is on fire" joke is funny

How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

What did the japanese man say to the other Japanese man? I like your eyes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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