What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

Guess What! HI!

knock knock who's there Alec Baldwin I just raped your children ..........

what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

Where do babies come from? My garage

What's harder than a rock? The dead baby in my freezer.

Hi is the longest two letter word in the world

I just painted my nails. I have braces.

what smelss like crap.... CRAP dose DUH

What is the defference between an apple and a banana? Horses, because vests have no sleeves.

Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

how did the monkey fall out of the tree he was stupid how did the monkey get a black eye he was hit by a bus how did the monkey end up in the sewer he got hit by another bus

Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

What does Batman say to scare Robin? Don't make me get the bat!

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it was a refrigerator. Why did the little girl die? Because she was hit by two monkeys and a refrigerator.

Knock Knock Who's there? *silence* Silence Who?

What's the deal with airline food?

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

God is real

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, your Heart maybe splited into two but, if you love me i would fix it for you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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