Why was he arrested? He broke the law.

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Why did the boy lose his watch? Who cares? It was a shitty-ass watch.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

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whats worse than seeing a repeated anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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What did Uncle Timmy give to Little John for his birthday? Sodomy.

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What did the priest say to the kid? You can tell your dog but nobody else, ok?

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when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

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why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

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What do you call a group of black people? A group, you racist.

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read this

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A man violently raped a small child. Unfortunately the child had aids and gave them to the man.

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What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

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Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

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What's the difference between 6th graders and Jews? 6th graders make it back from camp. :)

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What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

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How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

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what is the difference between coke and pepsi? -they are competing soft drinks made by different brands

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There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Why is America such a great place to live? It's not North Korea.

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Yo mama's so fat that she should probably go on a diet to avoid the risk of getting a cardiovascular disese.

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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A duck sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After he finishes, he gets up to leave, when the bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but you didn't pay for your drink." The duck turned around and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot." So he paid the bartender for the drink and left him a nice tip, and left the bar in a good mood.

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cool story bro. tell it again. tell it at a party.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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