Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

I have Alzheimer. What?

if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

Roses are red Violets are blue your mum went to the loo and out came you

My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

a drumset fell off a clif. Badoom ch.

What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

3 Mormon men walk by a blonde woman eating a banana. They are not distracted by this and continue their journey of spreading Christianity.

Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbour. My neighbour who? Timothy, welcome to the neighbourhood!

Why did he die? He was sick.

Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

how do you kill a blonde? hit her in the back repeatedly with a crowbar

Why did the deer die Because Jupiter is incapable of supporting life

A

What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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