How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

Your mom is so stupid she went back to collage and got her masters n buissnes.

Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

a ghost walks into a bar and sais BOO! The bartender then yelded AAAAHHH! and died of a hart attack.

How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

Gues what makes me smile Mouth muscles

A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

A seal walks into a club.

The 80's

Q. How much wood would a Wood-Chuck chuck if a Wood-Chuck could chuck wood? A. Wood-Chuck's clearly cant chuck would so what is the point of trying to figure out a question that would never take place in real life?

What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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