How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +147

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

you ever put a vibrating phone on your b a l l s ???

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The 80's

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops